February 2012
1 post
A gift
So a few months ago I had this dream. I had written it all up when my computer wanted to refresh and I lost everything. So here is what I can remember.
I am roaring in the 20’s. Adele is performing in a huge ballroom/jazz club. I am out of breath because I can’t decided what I am more excited about; Adele or the nostalgia of living in the 20’s. Adele completes her set and...
December 2011
1 post
June 2011
3 posts
Sweet Pea
It was only a a few days ago when I crawled in bed with you to slowly wake you up from a nap. There you were, a tiny little creature in a huge king sized bed. As I rested my head and watched your little body at rest I couldn’t help but think how beautiful you are and how I couldn’t wait to have one of my own. I watched you enter the world, and watched our family prepare for you. We...
Reconnecting
The theme of my life lately has been reconnecting. I have reconnected to home, old friends, and with myself. It’s good to be home, and smelling that fresh mountain air. Waking up and driving to work looking at the Rockies has never been so beautiful! This is home, and always will be. Everything about Colorado is more vibrant and diverse then I have ever thought it was. It’s...
Well hello again! :)
It sure is disgusting to come on here and see how long it’s been since I have blogged! It is definitely time to put those old thoughts to rest and let the new ones come to life. I forget how refreshing typing my thoughts can be, knowing for sure at least one person will read them, and the unknown possibility of others. It’s good to be back and I am setting a goal to do this more...
January 2011
2 posts
December 2010
2 posts
LoVeRs
There is something strangely beautiful about me and I have pretty much always been aware of it. People don’t get it. They just don’t. I have always felt like I needed someone in this world where I seem to be lost to understand…anyone really. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel so alone.
It took a long time. It was rough at times, but that’s what got us there. I have...
October 2010
3 posts
“That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone...”
– John Green, Paper Towns (via thoughtsdetained)
“Walk tall, All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought you loved, you lost. Walk tall.”
September 2010
1 post
“If you could carry only ONE thing with you…I ask that it be LOVE” ~ Cody
August 2010
3 posts
I wish I would have held onto the friends I let go. I miss being a kid and thinking of all the things we were going to do together when we grew up. Making up silly dance routines, playing truth or dare, and talking about how much better the world is as an adult. Funny how that works.
July 2010
5 posts
I just woke up from a nightmare.
So I am living at Lina’s house, but it’s not Lina’s and it never was. I smoked a bowl and Lindsay is coming over. She calls and I talk to her but for some reason she needs a ride. So I hop in my car to get her and all of a sudden she is in my car. I can hear her telling me to drive in between the lines and to be careful. I remember thinking that I wasn’t even that...
“Everyone is great! Everyone must be super happy I am going to rehab.”
~ My lovely sober aunt
“Something inside has died and I can’t hide
And I just can’t fake...”
– I hit a turning point listening to this Carol King song!
1/2 Asleep
It’s nights like these when I can’t sleep because my mind can’t quite wrap itself around the circles its been doing. I have watched my heart doing circles around people, trying to grasp the beauty and keep it to create my own beauty; while kicking the other qualities to the curb. I watch my friends live their lives as if it’s a movie. When they ask for advice I am the...
June 2010
2 posts
Why am I dreaming about you again?
May 2010
14 posts
I counted today. It made me sick to think of how long it’s been and where I am at… numb.
“The most dangerous creation in the world, in any society, is the man with...”
– Malcolm X (via filmquotes)
Music has really saved my soul.
Here’s the thing: I was in a love affair. Only this one was different. It had a love song, several actually. It caught me off guard. It happened when I stopped looking for it. It was happening and I didn’t even know it was happening until my heart was so far into, that I had forgotten about my bad habit. I always end up having what I don’t want. It gets worse. I have...
Kelly this is the song! I am really into it right...
Chelsea
Most nights I wait for her to fall asleep, good and asleep so I can cry. I don’t know why I don’t want her to know. Everyday she is beautiful, full of life and happiness. That’s what people see, even her mother. They love her spunk and attitude. What I love what I really really love about her is that she knows that I cry. She knows that I am hurting, and she still gets in...
“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe...”
– Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes (via thoughtsdetained)
April 2010
5 posts
I don't belong here, there, or anywhere.
I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I have a hard time thinking of a period in time where I felt I was home. Now it’s harder than ever. I have no one, even though I am surrounded by people who love me. Why is that not enough? There are people who are way worse off than me who would kill for the love I have, yet I am all alone. I miss my friends, mostly because they can get me...
Happiness
When I think about my life, I don’t think of rainbows, and butterflies. I can think of happy moments, but not actual happiness. I feel like I spend my days just trying different things to see if it feels different. What would make me really happy? All I can think about are all of the happy moments and what was different in the way I felt that day. I like thinking of those. Like getting...
Yep I am still annoyed with anyone who is over 4 ft tall.
March 2010
27 posts
Oh yea and let’s not forget my mom left me out of a family trip. So that was nice too.
I am down right pissed at people today.
Yep that’s right. I don’t understand how I can bust my ass everyday and get in trouble for something I did for a brief second in time. It wasn’t even that big of a deal. But if you are going to call me into your office before I can even set my stuff down it better be something important. Why don’t you approach me when it happened? Oh and on top of that fuck you for...
Just a thought and the most annoying thing to me...
Sorry Lindz you might not like this very much, I am not sure though.
My thoughts on Miley Cyrus:
Since when does a 17 year old Disney channel star have the credibility to advice American Idol contestants, and who cares about a 17 year old 1 year anniversary with her boyfriend. It’s not like any romantic relationship when you are 17 years old matters. Uh sorry…I just had to vent....
Women
You know that look women get on their face when they are talking to a man when they wanna get laid? Well I have been looking at that look since my parents thought I was old enough to go to their parties. My dad is in a band for God sakes. I had to support him. After that I made friends who were musicians and in bands which only put me further into that world.
As I sat in the bar last night...
